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[Thursday November 26th, 2009 at 9:21pm] happy in the club with a bottle of red wine, stars in our eyes 'cause we're having a good time. so happy, i could die. <3 happy thanksgiving. mine was good now that i look back on it. work tomorrow, i have a love/hate relationship with chili's <3 comment.

[Thursday November 12th, 2009 at 10:47pm] I really like my boyfriend and I want EVERYONE to know it. 1 // comment.

[Tuesday October 20th, 2009 at 1:20am] For once in my life, everything is going nicely, and I don't give a fuck. I want to spend tomorrow listening to Ben Folds. My LJ background reminds me that I don't even have a single song on my iTunes. comment.

[Thursday October 1st, 2009 at 1:30am] I saw Why? tonight and it was such a nice experience. Nothing else mattered but singing "Twenty-eight" out of my lungs followed by "21st Century Pop Song" which is one of the best Hymie's Basement songs. I picked up a nice tee. I'm so happy my strep throat subsided for a hot second while I was there. comment.

[Tuesday September 22nd, 2009 at 12:07am] i write in my secret blog way too much and have been neglecting you, live journal. im so sorry. here's something i don't mind making public. i'm losing, or have already lost, everything. i guess it's for the best, but i fucking can't stand how i feel at night sometimes. and i love kevin for helping me fall asleep every night. comment.

[Thursday August 20th, 2009 at 11:28pm] iiiiii don't knowwwwww comment.

[Thursday August 13th, 2009 at 2:54pm] I'm usually comfortable with my life right now. I don't know why, I don't think I have any real reason to feel content with it, but at the same time, I don't think I really have any complaints either. I just hope that the friends I've made in the past couple of days won't go to waste and actually mean something to me. I'd like that a lot. I can never have enough friends. As for Central, I'm living in an all girls dorm with some girl that I'm too non-confrontational to call. I hope she gives me a ring, but until then I'll just wait. Maybe I'll send her an E-Mail or something, I'll just make up what I think her address is. Sounds like it would work in my head, but I'm not sure. I love work, but am uneasy about it this week. I don't know why, I hope that changes tonight. Also, you are a wonderful human being, real swell and all. I appreciate the existence you have in my life. I know you won't ever read this, I won't ever tell you this journal exists. You're just great, one of my good friends, regardless of the short time we've known each other. I'm not scared to hear what you want to tell me, but I have no idea how to react to it because I adore our relationship and would rather not see it diminish because of something we both can't handle. I hope you know that. I really hope you know that. comment.

[Tuesday August 4th, 2009 at 8:22pm] sorry your life is going so great right now that whenever i get upset about something you act like you never had a bad day in your whole damn life. comment.

[Friday July 31st, 2009 at 9:09am] I had a incredibly vivid dream about my dead great grandmother last night. I bought a pack of cigarettes and gave them to my cousin to hide in her purse upstairs in my grandmother's house, which the rooms upstairs were like rooms you'd find in a Newport mansion. I was explaining to her my sister's wedding because, in my dream, we had her wedding reception in those rooms. I was trying to tell my cousin that before she left to go back upstairs and say she forgot something so she could come back down and give me my cigarettes. While we were up there the door from the stairs opened and my great grandmother walks up, speaking nearly perfect English. Eventually we were all outside looking at stars, which were perfectly visible, and it was like both my cousin and I were both five years old...really stoked to see my great grandmother and pointing out every cool thing we saw in the sky. I wasn't sure, but I thought she was going to die there, like that. She didn't, instead we went back inside and turned on a fan and I had to reconstruct a cellphone for her while she texted and played a game on mine. And my uncle was being a huge dick to her, but he's a huge dick to everyone. Then my alarm went off. My great grandmother died in September 2006, and this is one of the first times I've thought about her and the fact that we shared no real memories. I despise the language barrier that exists between my grandparents and I, and I despise my parents for putting it there and never trying to teach neither my sister nor I Italian. I hate these kinds of dreams. comment.

[Tuesday July 21st, 2009 at 2:20am] i think that for once things might be sincerely looking up for me. knock on wood. i've been happy. and coincidently, i haven't been drinking, either. i'm not sure if there's a connection, but i'm just going to do what i do and go with the flow. it's gotten me this far, after all. comment.

[Monday July 13th, 2009 at 4:27pm] i know that i have a limited amount of people in my life that i'm actually relatively close to. on the other hand, i have hundreds of acquaintances that i brush shoulders with about once a week and still have never had a full conversation with them. a part of me likes the unfamiliarity i hold with a bunch of people, but as i'm losing people i actually care about, i have more room for conversation. but i am too shy to make that happen. im currently working on trying to make myself more outgoing and be able to talk to people without being so nervous. there are a lot of people i want to get to know better in my life. im so silly. comment.

[Wednesday June 24th, 2009 at 3:21pm] i still can't wrap my head around the idea that it's really over between you and i. i don't know if i could ever forgive you now, but i hope you have forgiven me. comment.

[Tuesday June 9th, 2009 at 11:07pm] lost all hope in thinking sneezing meant someone is thinking about you. i sneeze too damn much. comment.

[Sunday May 31st, 2009 at 12:40pm] it's so nice outside and i'm laying on my bed. i don't know what my problem is lately, but i don't see it coming to an end any time soon. consistent feelings of despair, or something. i want him back in my life so bad but there's something on the other end that pulls this away every time the ball is even touching my side of the court. i don't know, i keep wanting to tell myself that i don't care but i don't think lying will make this any better. ( I hate this... ) i don't want to feel like this anymore. comment.

[Thursday May 28th, 2009 at 11:58am] yeah, the weight has been lifted. but i still want this more than anything. i don't think i've ever been so motivated about something ...until now. 2 // comment.

[Monday May 25th, 2009 at 3:49pm] Get out of my head. I hate myself for this. comment.

[Thursday May 21st, 2009 at 10:38pm] somethings just boggle my mind to no confirmed ending. comment.

[Thursday May 21st, 2009 at 12:55am] i have a job and it feels good. even though im 100% bummed on criminal minds being over, and the fucking obscene ending that will dwindle around my head for the next year until i know hotchner is alive and well. fuck! comment.

[Monday May 18th, 2009 at 11:38am] i had a dream a dog bit me and only good things came from it. wheres sassy? comment.

[Sunday May 17th, 2009 at 9:55pm] "God knows that I'd do anything for a part two, or to be praying for the day you come back to me, saying that you forgive me. Give me another chance, I'm needing it like a kidney; I don't wanna advance, give me back her hands, give me back her touch. I don't ask for much but I fucked up, I know I fucked up, I admit I fucked up..." Holyshit. TellhimtofuckingREADTHIS. I'm going crazy. comment.

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